Friday, 29 May 2015

I n - f r i n g e (m e n t)



‘act so as to limit or undermine (something or someone).’

OK, so I may have taken this definition a little out of context - drama queen K-G! Butttt... I'm going to try and make it work, so bear with me.

I reckon that the 'something' or 'someone' part of things is the element that sees many of us attempting to shift accountability to those around us, as opposed to dealing with 'it' ourselves. But what if I told you that 'things' could sort of, kinda, be down to us as individuals as well?

Believing in your unique value, abilities - and the lack of is so important. But how can this be done without appearing or becoming over-confident along the way? Well, seeking to continually work towards building a tasteful and well measured combination of self-awareness, self-belief, correction, a positive mind-set and healthy level of emotional savviness - whether it be with the help of God and or others, could do the trick. 

I think there are some practical things that can be put into place too though!

The good news is that we can grow in confidence. By changing certain mind-sets, allowing room for constructive criticism and carrying out appropriate levels of self-evaluation every so often, our situations and habits can eventually develop into newer, more appropriate ones. 

Search for, admit and accept those flaws, lovey. Yep - the dreaded three-pronged effect. No one is perfect. As much as we hear this trite nugget, a lot of us fail to let it resonate for the greater good. Make that change honey boo-boo-kitty! Self-assurance not only makes way for imperfections, it chooses to work with them every day until evolution takes place. (if that's part of the plan for your life and character)

Ask yourself where your strengths lie, and in turn, where your weaknesses reside too. Where and how to improve, and when to chill out and let others take the lead. Phew! the song here in my heart! Yes Beyoncé! (Sorry-not-sorry) While self-assured women trust their own judgement, they are also sensible enough to listen to the opinions of others. They won't necessarily like what they hear all the time, but they learn not to throw in the towel just because their preference has been challenged. They get that criticism should be taken as constructive, and that listening to others' is a path leading to growth and personal development. Le duh! *face palm*

To sum this up Twitter-style: Talking >Listening > Hearing #blessedlifetrusmidaddy! 

Ask for help. So important. You've got to know that trying to accomplish everything alone is virtually impossible. Self-assurance sees to it that you don't feel threatened or belittled by seeking help from mentors and people of influence and standard around you. Sounds daunting, girl. You'll get it together though!

Own your feelings. No matter the circumstance, strive to understand your emotions AND own them. There's no time for hide and seek, but control it, assess it and then let it (all) out.

Confidence makes way for timely and appropriate expressions to those who can advise you best. Then, of course, you have to return the favour by listening to the listener as well...followed by riding off into the sunset with your homies getting ice cream, buying heels, stuffing your faces and posting an unlimited number of group selfie’s because you've offloaded. #Ohhey

Support others. Make watching your friends and loved-ones soar, a lifetime priority. Cheering on others' businesses, relationships and successes does not impede on any of our own accomplishments; it highlights them and your confidence! 

Shirt: HnM
Clutch: Primark
Skirt: Primark
Heels:  Louboutin

Kandidly His, Kandidly Yours,

K-G xo


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